My bat out of hell mother in law.

I want to start off by saying my mother in law is a basket case. With that being said dealing with a difficult mother in law can be soul diminishing and mind grueling. I know what you are thinking. Where is he going with this? My objective with this blog is to highlight how my mother in law is the worst thing since taxes and different methods I adopted to deal with her.

If everyone is complaining about the same thing guess what the issue is with you. Trying to drive this point home was futile. Worst part is everyone close to her has told her the same thing. She is currently homeless which is very sad and I’m very empathetic toward her current state of affairs. However, she has been taken in twice by my spouse and once by my brother in law. The two times she was with my spouse and I it was very unpleasant to say the least. The first time my wife had to kick her out she left by taking comforters, clothes, money etc. The basis for why my wife wanted to kick out her mother was due to the fact that she didn’t want to pitch in and she was taking advantage of the situation. My mother in law lives on disability and decided to spend the little bit she got every month on online purchases and jewelry instead of saving it or pitching in at all in helping the household.

When it comes to my brother in law, when he took his mother in he just wanted her to save her money and ensure that her deadbeat boyfriend did not go inside his place. On top of the fact that she couldn’t comply with this simple request she also disrespected his girlfriend by telling her to butt out of conversations that it didn’t concern her. The funny part is that my mother in law would bad mouth her son’s girlfriend and then have the audacity to tell her to mind her business. She would also call her names like dumb, bitch, whore etc. My mother in law would say these things because she felt that there was more distance emotionally between her and her son since they started dating. As a house guest she definitely overstayed her welcome from the second she walked into the door.

Furthermore, my mother in law causes waves everywhere she goes. Every time she has stayed at my house my wife and I argue way more than usual. My mother in law lives for gossip. She is definitely like the old gossipy neighborhood lady people hear about. For instance, she would tell my wife I’m laying down on the sofa relaxing instead of doing chores. My wife would immediately call me to read me the riot act even though it was my day off. My mother in law is the type of person that will keep feeding people information for the sole purpose of upsetting them. One time my mother in law kept telling my wife I’m cheating on her and that me working long hours was just a cover. After enough times my mother in law feeding my wife that b.s my wife eventually approached me to ask me if I was cheating. I was so upset that I had to damage control because my mother in law was being a child.

On another note, my mother in law would do several minor annoying things when added up together equaled the atomic bomb. For me one thing that would always bother me is that she would lay in the master bedroom leaving me to hang out in the living room in my own house. When she used to baby sit my son she would cancel last minute for her appointments. My wife and I would politely tell her to let us know with time so we can make arrangements with our employers. Our pleading was definitely in vain.

A mother is someone that you should always trust or at least not have to worry about losing your valuables around her. My mother in law knows no bounds she and her boyfriend are capable of taking anything from anyone. It’s gotten so bad one day I caught her on her hands and knees looking for spare change to do laundry. On top of that she would use our fabric softener and detergent. What takes the cake is one day she tells me to get milk for my son which was maybe 1 or 2 at the time. So I complied with her request and bought 3 gallons to ensure my son would have enough milk for the week. Mind you he only was taken care by her four out of the five days she normally takes care of him. With that in mind, she only took care of him for two days before saying she needed more milk for my son. That was completely ludicrous. I almost blew a gasket when I heard that nonsense. Worst of all, there was one day I misplaced my wallet and I was going crazy trying to find it. I eventually decided to drive to my wife’s job so I can search her car to see if I left my wallet there. Halfway there I get a call from my mother in law saying she found my wallet. Later I find out she confessed to holding the wallet because she thought I wasn’t going to pay her. Why stop there besides her issues with lying she also has a issue with over spending.

Without a doubt everyone misspends and splurges from time to time. However, not to the extent of my mother in law. When homeless she bought my stepson and son gifts and jewelry for my wife. She completely misspent a settlement she got for 60 k within 2 months. Instead of saving it or investing she decides to get a car that costs 800 a month and thats with 30 k down. When she ran through the settlement money she was completely out of luck she couldnt even afford a can of tuna. Another useless purchase was a bunch of fake MK purses she would try to sell at full price. In addition, she also bought a myriad amount of jewelry.

Advice

Through many years of maturing and introspection I have slowly learned to let things go. This is easier said than done. During a confrontation with someone I take a moment and think to myself if this battle is worth my energy. When it comes to my mother in law I realized that I can’t control her actions. I can only control how I view certain outcomes and my emotions. Knowing that you can’t control certain outcomes in life is half the battle. I used to get mad at my mother in law because I had a need for the feeling of control. I also had to look at myself and realize that I shouldn’t automatically assume she is lying. In order to have peace in your household it is essential to realize that life isn’t fair and not everyone is going to agree with your viewpoint. With that in mind, try to avoid thinking in absolutes. For example, my mother in law does steal but she doesn’t steal every second of the day. Try to analyze everything said or done on a case by case basis.

I learned firsthand when I would blow up on my mother in law she would always double down because she knew she had the upper hand. It’s when I started to stand my ground respectfully and not stoop to her level that the situation got better. In conclusion, you cant control how people think of you so just focus on doing right by people and be satisfied that you put your best foot forward.